#13

third person

copyright (c) 1997 by Annalee Newitz

she always (secretly, I suppose) wanted to be beautiful
and to make someone like you notice her
across a crowded room
the way an animal would

it's scary for her to put it like that
she'd never do it in the first person

perhaps you may have guessed that not too far in the back of her mind
lurks all the pornography she read as a girl
where the man (let's face it, when she was growing up
most pornography was by men) wanted women straight up
without any of the weird knick-knacks you acquire through consciousness

and she believed it all and believes also to this day
that her strength would repulse you in the intimate situation she nevertheless
dreams in dreams and more frequently awake

my language breaks down just thinking about her
thinking about it

on a lighter note I've come here to tell you that she wants you to know
that sometimes she enters your mind when you are not looking
and leaves little bits of herself behind for you to mull over
not knowing these ideas are all she has of hands that might touch you

yet in spite of her protestations and elaborately staged self-doubt she really does wish
every day
that you would grab her as hard as she feels and kiss her
burningly
on the lips

3-2-97

Back to main Fuck! page.