#19
it repeats
copyright (c) 1997 by Annalee Newitz
falling in love again
never wanted to
what am I to do
I can't help it
-- Marlene Dietrich
"Falling in Love Again" (1930)
as the CD repeats
I imagine 1930
and her dress shining as her hair and voice do
in a black and white theater
but there is also something else
dimly lit at the far edge
of the camera angle
in my mind
something about the shape of your eyelids
or perhaps even your look
from beneath them
inspires a pan and tightens the focus
it reminds me of Marlene's promises
in that film
where everyone was gambling
and finally even her love affair was lost at cards
like hers your gaze
is filled with an almost sarcastic tragedy
and like hers your presence
is erotic
as we repeat our walk up the same afternoon hill
I find once again I'm sucked into the movie
unable to distinguish between what I desire from that projected body
and what such a body might mean in itself
10-13-97
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